Happiness springs not, in Eden
The mind seeks this sliding proportion
In the world outside
Unclear and well-hidden
Out of grasp this slippery emotion
To find, look deep inside.
Days, months and years ridden
Innumerable births, even reincarnation
This mirage we walk, with pride.
Die, live and die, some harden
Plenty of reasons, for this motion
Until happiness decides to reside.
The mind seeks this sliding proportion
In the world outside
Unclear and well-hidden
Out of grasp this slippery emotion
To find, look deep inside.
Days, months and years ridden
Innumerable births, even reincarnation
This mirage we walk, with pride.
Die, live and die, some harden
Plenty of reasons, for this motion
Until happiness decides to reside.
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In response to the prompt from TOP, I found this prompt
"Why we are alive?"very interesting.
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16 comments:
Liked this a lot. You are very gifted.
UL - certain words jumped out at me - sliding, slippery, harden, the contrast of emotion and motion - I felt a rhythm and flow that had me reading this several times in a row, changing the rhythmic flow of words, each time pointing me to "look deep inside". What a gift!
gifted gal, do come over to my post and chk this out :)
Hi Ul, thanks for stopping by the other day, I managed to despam you!! This is very interesting...especially the ending. And Annie's right, the word use works very well.
This is very well crafted - i liked it a lot.
(UL your comments are getting through O.K. on by blog.)
That last stanza is SO good!
I read the 3WW post after you edited it. It reads great now.
Life Force
now my comment has disappeared!!! i was here yesterday ul and viewed this and left a comment but it isn't here...
i am intrigued by the last stanza,, and i am thinking i might want to feature a post revolving around it on my new project,, as i certainly want to speak to the seniors and get their input on the idea that life may be a revolving wheel,, and we simply the cogs... not from a religious standpoint,, rather just to see what they would change if they had the opportunity to come back...
i had asked in my comment yesterday if i could use this,, and wondered why you never answered me... now i know... let me know,, you know i will of course provide full links credit etc....
Morning UL, I sent you an email and answered you in detail on my post.
I like your poem here, the contrast between seeking happiness in things or inside of us.
Great poem - the first line starts with power and the final line brings it back. Very nice!
Lovely.
Very nice play of the theme this week.
It is slippery, isn't it? What a great word choice! This whole poem is full of little treats like that!
I would love to get your essay that you thought about sending but cheated and got Marja to do it for you.
Who's the cheeky one now?
I like the way you rhyme this. Eden, Hidden, ridden, harden etc.
I really liked the idea of the mirage..
I liked this. A slight touch of the cyclic way of life.
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