Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Broken



best friends for life
turn worst of enemies
story of life

breaking rules
tangled in treachery –
daring egos

one dead, the other jailed
judge understood-
simple theory, money involved

self-created prisoners
separated beyond lifetimes
forever regrets


*****
In response to the prompt from 3WW.
A couple of lines rewritten and the poem reordered.
Concept remains the same. Money equates to mess in
most cases.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

A most tangled web to be sure. :)

Rose

xo

PJD said...

What is it that makes people do that kind of thing? How do people lose perspective in such a dramatic way?

Constructive criticism (since your "leave a comment" blurb says you like it): No apostrophe required on "friends" in the first line.

UL said...

thanks pjd, removed :)

Anonymous said...

Think it's easy to lose perspective--though I don't understand turning to violent crime

I wrote two--the second one is better I think
Looking for love

anthonynorth said...

Money is just not - ever - straight forward. Maybe we should ban it!

Anonymous said...

You told the story so well!

Tumblewords: said...

Money's a hard thing to do right! Nice post!

paisley said...

very true words UL....

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

wonderful piece...made me a bit sad.

Sherry said...

friends + money = disaster. Always.

rel said...

UL,
True, money like electricity, must be handled carefully or the bite may be deadly.
rel

Anonymous said...

I thought it was going a different direction but still the point is there.

Anonymous said...

So true and so well said, as always ;)

Pri said...

yess money does weave a tangled web around us...
unfortunately it is understood only by a few, on time...

its funny all 3 words came up in the comment too...the first 2 werent intentional...but when i noticed that, i thought i would complete it by adding the last one too...

prompt well taken wrapped in a beautiful imagery of words..uve well explained the harsh truth of life :)

gautami tripathy said...

Tangled, for sure!

arched architecture

little wing writer said...

really liked your poem... especially the first two and last two lines...

Linda Jacobs said...

A well-crafted poem!

Bone said...

separated beyond lifetimes
forever regrets


Loved those lines, especially, UL.

Have a great weekend!

TC said...

You were early, I was late :)

I really liked this, even as I found it very sad that "best of friends" could end up like that. Money is not worth it. But then, I don't think any of the things that generally end friendships are.

Lucy said...

this was so sad, as I once had a best friend who is no longer. No jail time or death thankfully but still... great post.