Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Delivery



Scattered thoughts
Labored breath
Tomorrow looms!

Scattered breath –
Exhausted tears:
Tomorrow arrives!

Hearty cries –
Scattered laughter
Tomorrow breaths!

Scattered love-
Bundle, a warm breath:
Tomorrow overtakes!


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In response to the prompt from 3WW
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17 comments:

Lucy said...

Hi Ul, Oooh how I adored this poem! (tomorrow overtakes and the day after that and that and that! haha but we moms know it's worth it)
About that tag... i don't have your email address But I did leave the message in one of my comments. ( although being like one of those menopausal dwarves... maybe I thought i did and didn't actually do it! sorry! ) xo
(thanks so much for all your great comments today! I was so excited to have so many to look at xo)

pjd said...

Very cute way to carry the "tomorrow" theme through multiple stages. Delightful.

TC said...

I liked these :) Made me smile thinking about it.

paisley said...

like i said... you are such a mom.... this was so adorable.....

tumblewords said...

How clever and neat these are! Soft and real!

LittleWing said...

WOW...reflected so well all the emotions parents go through on that very day...

Herb Urban said...

Beautiful

Tammy said...

I really enjoyed the memories this evoked and the end of each stanza was brilliant.

Thinking aloud said...

oooh! i loved this...an emotion every mother knows...i like the play on tomorrow...

gautami tripathy said...

truly well done! I liked the play of words in each..

if tomorrow comes

MsRose said...

I'd like to add your blog with Keith's-email me let me know if you'd like that:)

MsRose

MsRose said...

Hello! It would be my pleasure to add you! If you know any sites I can add "ding me" haha
allkidswrite@gmail.com

and yes-ANYONE here there or anywhere can email;) (dr.seuss)

MsRose

pia said...

It was soft--and amazing use and reuse of the words.

I'm not a mommy but I can relate :)

I had the stomach flu last week--one minute fine, the next.....

Thanks for taking the time to truly read my blog

mariacristina said...

This was very clever, UL! I really enjoyed how you rearranged the words, changing the poem subtly as it progresses.

Marja said...

oh how heartwarming Liked it a lot

Sandy said...

UL, these are so touching and well done. They touch right at the heart of mothers...I know they do mine.

Having my children was one of the best experiences of my life and you have reminded me of that this day...thank you.

BTW, UL, I have left you something on my site about the Definition of Senryu.

I'm so glad you enjoyed my site and I hope you will try your hand at writing senryu...they are so much fun.

Sandy

lissa said...

how sweet. I like the rhythm/structure.

thanks for stopping by and leaving a lovely comment.