Scattered thoughts
Labored breath –
Tomorrow looms!
Scattered breath –
Exhausted tears:
Tomorrow arrives!
Hearty cries –
Scattered laughter
Tomorrow breaths!
Scattered love-
Bundle, a warm breath:
Tomorrow overtakes!
Labored breath –
Tomorrow looms!
Scattered breath –
Exhausted tears:
Tomorrow arrives!
Hearty cries –
Scattered laughter
Tomorrow breaths!
Scattered love-
Bundle, a warm breath:
Tomorrow overtakes!
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In response to the prompt from 3WW
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17 comments:
Hi Ul, Oooh how I adored this poem! (tomorrow overtakes and the day after that and that and that! haha but we moms know it's worth it)
About that tag... i don't have your email address But I did leave the message in one of my comments. ( although being like one of those menopausal dwarves... maybe I thought i did and didn't actually do it! sorry! ) xo
(thanks so much for all your great comments today! I was so excited to have so many to look at xo)
Very cute way to carry the "tomorrow" theme through multiple stages. Delightful.
I liked these :) Made me smile thinking about it.
like i said... you are such a mom.... this was so adorable.....
How clever and neat these are! Soft and real!
WOW...reflected so well all the emotions parents go through on that very day...
Beautiful
I really enjoyed the memories this evoked and the end of each stanza was brilliant.
oooh! i loved this...an emotion every mother knows...i like the play on tomorrow...
truly well done! I liked the play of words in each..
if tomorrow comes
I'd like to add your blog with Keith's-email me let me know if you'd like that:)
MsRose
Hello! It would be my pleasure to add you! If you know any sites I can add "ding me" haha
allkidswrite@gmail.com
and yes-ANYONE here there or anywhere can email;) (dr.seuss)
MsRose
It was soft--and amazing use and reuse of the words.
I'm not a mommy but I can relate :)
I had the stomach flu last week--one minute fine, the next.....
Thanks for taking the time to truly read my blog
This was very clever, UL! I really enjoyed how you rearranged the words, changing the poem subtly as it progresses.
oh how heartwarming Liked it a lot
UL, these are so touching and well done. They touch right at the heart of mothers...I know they do mine.
Having my children was one of the best experiences of my life and you have reminded me of that this day...thank you.
BTW, UL, I have left you something on my site about the Definition of Senryu.
I'm so glad you enjoyed my site and I hope you will try your hand at writing senryu...they are so much fun.
Sandy
how sweet. I like the rhythm/structure.
thanks for stopping by and leaving a lovely comment.
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