Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Disturbed!

The following is a piece I would like to continue from my 'Dream turns Nightmare' post. It can be read by itself or if you are interested check out the original post. I divided this into three parts, all connected to one another, the first part is in response to the 3WW prompt, the second in response to the Friday Fiction prompt and the third for the prompt from Totally Optional Prompts. I know I cheated. But couldn't come up with three posts like most of you do here! Feel free to jump to the respective parts if you don't have time to read it all, I would like to believe that each reads by itself. Too little time in my hands, but still wanted to do them all, please bear with me folks.



Amnesia
(for 3WW)

Mind disturbed -
Bridge into the past:
broken, forgotten still!


****



My Valentines'

(for Friday Fiction)


I used to love Valentine’s Day. I remember every one of them since I was five, old enough to remember. Mom used to tell us “It’s the day to show your loved ones how much you care”. “Shouldn’t that be everyday, mom?” I remember the wise ‘me’ questioning. I also remember the love, the laughter and the joy. More so than gifts, the warmth of feeling loved made me whole.

Not any more. For the past three years, every day is just another day, including Valentine’s. Getting from one day to the next has turned painful if not near impossible. My self-imposed seclusion from the rest of the world, including the family I dearly love, has made my day-today activities nothing but a chore. My confidence that distance would bring me answers that I seek, is weakening.

Amnesia is a dirty disease. The ‘not-knowing’ part will kill me if nothing else. My agitation is growing by leaps and bounds as each day passes without memories, without answers. My mind is disturbed by the recurring dream that has plagued me ever since the incident three years ago. This year the nightmare has been appearing more frequently, every other day almost and I am sleeping less as a result.

I am unable to concentrate on anything else. Insomnia is worse; it not only tires a person but makes one insane. My mind is forever working to construct the bridge into the past, to that summer day of July 1995. My brain is battling the effort, blocking every move and throwing me a blank screen. Why?

How come I am still alive? These days I carry a gun around everywhere I go as if it’s my own personal lifeguard. Even though that very gun might turn my worst enemy one day!

****


Dream

(for TOP)

Up in the tree house –
We are tender five
and playing home:
Laughter spreads
without a care!


****




Nightmare

Up in the tree house-
I am twenty plus five
and all alone:
Gun shot sound,
must stop this wound -
A feeling dead!

****




29 comments:

TC said...

These were all really good. I can't imagine having amnesia... horrible :-/

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

Hi UL,

I guess WP has stopped spamming you. :)

I read all your posts to this nightmare. I reads like non-fiction.

It's very good and cohesive. Amnesia is something we know very well.

Rose

xo

UL said...

Thanks Rose - I am finally despammed :)

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

I thought it was unspammed. ;)

Rose

xo

Sandy said...

These are all very well done, UL. You do realize the one for 3WW is a senryu...see you can write them too.

S

UL said...

Actually I did not figure that out until you mentioned it Sandy...hurray I wrote a senryu

tumblewords said...

Very clever - the dream/nightmare is superb and frightening, to be sure. Dream/treehouse is nifty and amnesia is frightening in its own right. All very nicely done and a pleasure to read!

Heather Kathleen said...

and i think that i shall be frequenting this space as well...nicely done.

WriterKat said...

I love your take on the words with amnesia. It really works out well. Great job.

pjd said...

Re the 3ww one...
Mind disturbed -
Bridge into the past:
broken, forgotten still!


would that be "still" as in distillation equipment for making moonshine? I that case, I like it.
:-)

gautami said...

I read all. I liked those.

Keep writing. You are good.

paisley said...

all lovely,, but i am especially enthralled in the last two.. what a wonderful portrayal of the differences between dreams and night mares... the second is too real!!!!

SweetTalkingGuy said...

This reads like very real, more than fiction - well done!

keith hillman said...

I went back to the beginning. I found the entire read absolutely rivetting. Amazing stuff.

anthonynorth said...

Loved these. The last two were particularly good - how our emphasis changes as we age.

pia said...

Took the still as being a still :)

Think you know how fascinated I am by the brain and memory

Loved the part about trying to construct a bridge to the past as that's exactly what people with memory loss do

susan said...

Is it bridge into or across? Like your take on the words.

Sandy Carlson said...

Disturbing and beautifully written. I am in that tree house with you.

I don't know why there wasn't a One Deep Breath prompt today. I hope the bloggers are OK.

Whitesnake said...

"Brilliant!"

Square1 said...

UL - All I can do is nod in understanding. To say any more would be to venture into territory that I'd rather not explore with myself at the moment. This was very well written, and I hope these nightmares resolve themselves.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

Goosebumps reading all this.

"Insomnia is worse; it not only tires a person but makes one insane." That is so true.

lissa said...

ooh, I like all. favorite' is the valentine story, quite unusual but somewhat casual in the way you wrote it.

LittleWing said...

i really like the way the pieces were all connected and could well stand on their own as well... the valentine's piece was awesome.. well, truly they all are..!!!

Bone said...

Oh man. I didn't notice that was fiction until I was a couple of paragraphs in. I'm glad it was, but it read so real.

It was all good, but this was amazing:

"My mind is forever working to construct the bridge into the past, to that summer day of July 1995. My brain is battling the effort, blocking every move and throwing me a blank screen."

Revathi said...

Feels real ans I know amnesia real well too

pjd said...

The FF item has a creepiness and a frustration to it that feels real. You should leave the gun at home.

qualcosa di bello said...

wow! very profound...& a scary reminder to be grateful for all the little things.

MsRose said...

Very nice! I enjoyed them immensely.
Thank you for the comment as well! My boys sleep well through the night-even through all our moves and being in new places:)
I have never had a regret-I learn from all the good and bad-Amnesia would really stink-because I need to remember lol

poetry4kids said...

This ones good. Short, funny, and creative.
Keep writing,
milou